In anticipation of my upcoming visit to New Orleans, I picked up the four hour Spike Lee documentary about Hurricane Katrina When the Levees Broke.

If you recall, I greeted the initial announcement of Spike Lee's project with, ahem, great skepticism. I'm an admirer of Lee's dramas, especially Malcolm X; but he really pissed me off back in the late 90s when he refused to speak at my college (the rumor was that there wasn't enough black students to merit his effort) but I was distrustful of his motives what with the emphasis in the media at that time of his focusing on the conspiracy theory that the government blew up the levees to flood the 9th Ward in order to prevent the much wealthier lake front properties from being flooded.

It's funny but I wonder how many other political Independents out there began breaking from the Bush camp after the ridiculously incompetent government response to the Gulf Coast disaster and the continued waste and ineptitude which continues to this day while people still wait out the rebuilding from their too-little too-late FEMA trailers and shady all-too-small insurance payouts.

I was very hard on Ray Nagin at the time, but I have to say that after watching all four hours of Lee's documentary, Nagin came across as the most genuine and most concerned public official throughout the entire debacle.

I'm not sure what to expect when I hit the Crescent City. Word is that the crime is so bad that the government is seriously considering instituting mandatory curfews like some Third World war zone. I'll be spending a day helping rebuild something in the community of New Orleans and I'm taking my camera to document what likely can't be described in words.

About Lee's documentary: it's an American masterpiece, a historical document of immense importance that should be watched by every American in order to reinforce the simple but often obfuscated truth that the government can never be a natural provider for its citizenry and cannot replace the will and ingenuity of the individual human being.

About Hurricane Katrina: I fear the wrong people learned the wrong lessons and how to profit from them and I can only pray that the right people learned the right fears and how to subvert the wrong people from their dastardly ends.

LINKS:

• 101 Common Sense Management Truths
  

• James Cameron Wants to Make This Generation's 2001 Only It Will Be in 3D
  

• JJ Abrams on the Next Star Trek Movie
  

• Peter Jackson Will Likely NEVER Make The Hobbit
  

• Turn Your Blog into a Book

TAGS:Hurrican Katrina New Orleans Ray Nagin When the Levees Broke Spike Lee

I was privileged to receive early screening passes to see the sixth installment in the Rocky series and have to say that I was very pleased with Stallone's production. And I want to warn you that I am going to spoil the plot line if you continue to read this post but nobody goes to see Rocky movies because of the plot lines.

And like all the movies in this series, the plot isn't very complicated. Rocky is still learning to live in a world without his beloved wife Adrian who died of "the woman cancer" three years prior to the beginning of the movie. His son is struggling with living in the shadow of his famous father. Pauly is coming to peace with the cranky assholish way he's lived his life (and yes, he's still working at that frigging meat packing plant) and the nemesis of the ring, Mason "The Line" Dixon is struggling with not being able to find an opponent who challenges his heart in the ring, who can make him go the distance.

This movie is the swan song of the series that Rocky V tried to be but fell slightly short of becoming. There are quite a few old and friendly trinkets that come up like the fully aged and grown turtles cuff and link that Rocky bought from Adrian's pet shop in the first movie. Spider Rico (the boxer who Rocky opens up the first movie fighting and who head butted him with a cheap shot) is now a reformed man of God who works as a dishwasher in Rocky's restaurant (named "Adrian's" of course, established in 1995). The little girl who Rocky walked home from the Atomic Hoagie shop in the first movie (the one he had to use a bad word with--"whore" and who told him "screw you, creepo") becomes a good friend to Rocky. The painting from Rocky III where Rocky and Apollo punch each other in the final seconds is now hanging on the wall of his restaurant and we get to see him down an amazing five eggs at once from possibly the same dirty ass glass.

Oh, and don't forget the latest version of the classic song "Take It Back" which will never sound better than when the five guys sang it over the dumpster fire in the first movie Hall and Oats style.

But this movie is distinctly different from the others in the series in that it is all about heart. On his magnificent classic rap album No One Can Do It Better, The D.O.C. said, "You may think I speak of music/but I speak of coming up." Well, you may think this movie is about boxing but it's about coming up. It's about self respect--how to lose it, how to get it and how to fight your ass off to keep it.

On a technical aspect, the fight scenes are filmed totally different than any of the other Rocky movies, resembling an actual fight. You can tell Stallone learned a great deal from his time producing the amazing first season of The Contender with Sugar Ray Leonard.

And while the training part of the movie is pretty good--nothing beats the training montage in Rocky IV when Hearts on Fire is playing and he's doing those reverse crunches on his head--that still gets me pumped up every time I watch it.

Look--this movie is going to get made fun of but people all over the world inherently love the character of Rocky for the same reason that people love the concept of America--because it's simple. It's easy. It feels right--even when it falls short. And stories don't become myths because of the trickery of their plot lines (The DaVinci Code will never be a mythology despite its fascinating story line). Stories become myths because they feel right inside our hearts and allow our minds to suspend disbelief just long enough to let a little magic seep back in from beyond the borders of rationality and provincialism.

I do recommend that you see this movie because there are far worse ways to spend an hour and a half than in saying goodbye to an American icon as he walks into the limelight of a sunset that feels right. There are no losers in this movie; everbody wins. The movie is more about saying goodbye to the ultimate underdog as he overcomes one more impossible odd. Don't forget that Rocky has never been about winning; it's always about going the distance--even when he won.

Rocky Balboa gives you a warm feeling like going back and kissing the person you lost your virginity to--it's not the best you've ever had but it sure beats kissing a pig.

Has Uncle Josh ever lied to ya?

LINKS:

• MySpace beats Yahoo in page views
  
• Bush wants war in outer space legalized
  
• Blackberry sues over Blackjack

TAGS:
Rocky Balboa Sylvester Stallone Film Review

There is some great TV happening right now. I know that it's in style to hate on television because of its sex and violence and paper thin morality tales but there are some quality pieces of social art being created right now that you could be missing out on. Here are my votes for the shows you should be watching:

• Friday Night Lights: I was a little skeptical about how successful a transition this show would be from the movie but I could have said the same about the movie from the book. My wife challenged me that this show would spiral into a 90210/One Tree Hill style teen soap opera but I believe this show has captured the look and feel of the movie and has engaging story arcs, believable characters and never strays from a love of football where the heart beats the loudest--high school. Also, Minka Kelly is the hottest girl on television right now and I would watch and eight hour movie of her sleeping and reading in silence if they aired it.



• My Name is Earl: Funny. Funny. Funny. This show does for white trash stereotypes what the Simpsons did for boring cartoons. I have long been a fan of Jason Lee's (ever since Mallrats and I was very happy to see him get his own show. But I had no idea how funny this sumbitch was going to be. The premise of a reformed douche bag whose seen the karmic light of how everything is interconnected and now wants to make amends for all his past wrongs is brilliant. The execution of this concept is flawless and the icing on the cake are the support cast. Jamie Presley deserves an Emmy and millions of dollars an episode for her perfect white trash barbie acting. And don't count out Ethan Stuplee as Randy the idiot but kind-hearted brother and Eddie Steeples as Darnell, the very weird but funny ex-wife's new husband who is about as good a friend to Earl as anyone in the show. There is some fantastic writing and acting going on in this show.
  
  

• The Office:What can I say? If you're not watching this show and you have the ability to then you're an idiot. This is the funniest show on television right now although my suspicion is that you won't appreciate it as much if you don't work in a cubicled office environment. Oh yeah, the original British version created by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant is just as funny and definitely well worth picking up the complete box set of. This American version was co-created between Ricky and Mike Judge (of Beavis and Butthead and Office Space legend).
  
  

• Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: I stayed away from The West Wing for a long time (until the last month, actually) because of stupid politics which just goes to show you that thinking politically makes people very stupid. This sophomore television effort to the West Wing takes place in a totally different environment--behind the scenes of a weekly live comedy sketch program (ala Saturday Night Live. Bradley Whitmore is as great as ever and Matthew Perry actually shines far beyond any work he did in Friends. And Amanda Peet is really good and still hot although I continue to see her completely naked in my mind like she was in The Whole Nine Yards. Sorkin's productions are fast and he gives no leniency to the audience in terms of explanation--he expects us to keep up which is something I appreciate. He and his writers and directors are also very bold in the story of their script structures, flashing back and forth between time periods and POVs and you have to be quick and attentive to follow what's happening. In other words, you should be watching this show but if someone talks to you during it, pause it and tell them to shut the eff up.
  
  

• America's Funniest Home Videos: Great stuff. Always has been.
  
  

• Grey's Anatomy: Sappy but addictive hospital drama that is an indulgence but features some really good situations that tug the emotions and loyalties of the viewer. This is a show for those who like to be moved by television and art.
  
  

• Lost: This is the worthy successor to The X-Files and if you like weird shit, you're missing out if you're not watching it. Do yourself a favor and buy both the first two seasons on DVD and catch up.
  
  

• Men in Trees: I can hear the pitch meeting now--Northern Exposure meets Sex and the City. A successful relationship author (Anne Heche) and non-lesbian has a rough break up and moves to Elmo Alaska to find herself and learn everything she can about men. She ends up falling in love the town and the town's hunk who is a biologist and woodsy type fellow. The town has some weird folks and weird traditions but the "normal" world of New York City and her writing career constantly pulls our protagonist in two directions which will be the primary conflict in the story of her search for love and happiness.
  
  My mother got my wife watching this and I by proxy have caught most of the episodes. Let me just say outright that I am a HUGE fan of Northern Exposure--I think it was one of the best hour-long dramas ever on television and was so culturally subversive at times that it never should have been made. That being said, I was also a big fan of Sex and the City. And I think that the writers and producers of Men in Trees have done a good job of marrying the central themes and concepts of both shows in a way that takes away neither and edifies both. This one is well worth watching.
  
  

• What About Brian: A guy who has great friends but serious commitment issues falls in love with his best friend's fiancee and causes their marriage plans to fall apart and the would-be bride to skip town. He's a video game designer who goes bust when his other best friend sleeps with the wrong executive who ends up taking years of hard video game coding and uploading it to a free Internet game site, forcing poor Brian into a miserable life of working for his father as a real estate agent. There are other story lines going on in this late-night soap opera but there's enough there to keep it interesting and keep me tuned in, although I'm very anxious to see the beautiful Sarah Lancaster make her appearance once again on the show.
  
  

• Brothers and Sisters: Six Feet Under dumbed down for a network television audience. That's what is appeared like at first but this show has grown on me. First of all, it's got Sally Field who besides being one of the greatest actresses ever (remember the crying scene at the end of Steel Magnolias?), she's still pretty friggin' hot for her age and definitely continues to fall into the MILF category. But the story arcs and characters are very interesting as well, especially the not-so silent war which occurs between Callista Flockhart's character (a conservative talk show host who is slowly but surely becoming liberalized), her brother who suffered as a soldier from PTSD after the Afghanistan campaign and is a drug addict and now could be going back into battle in Iraq--and the mother (Sally Field) who carries a serious grudge against Callista for encouraging him to sign up in the first place. Great stuff here.
  
  

• The Class: I started watching this show at Shane Nickerson's request because his sister writes for it. It's damn funny. It would take too long to explain the concept so do yourself a favor and check it out on Monday nights.
  
  

• How I Met Your Mother: The second funniest show on television and something you should definitely be watching. Neil Patrick Harris's character "Barney" will go down in history if he keeps it up; make sure to read his blog each week.
  
  

• Two and a Half Men: Charlie Sheen carries this show and he's as funny as ever.
  
  

• House: Another great hospital drama with one of the most unique leading characters in all of television. Gregory House is a son of a bitch but keeps you glued to the screen to see how he's going to insult the next person and solve the next medical dilemma. David Morse's character this season, as the pissed off detective hell bent on breaking House over his knee, is brilliant and exactly what the show needed to keep it fresh. Congrats to the writing staff on this season--it's fantastic again!
  
  

• 24: The most unique concept in television drama continues to deliver. Last season was the most intense and well-acted season yet. I can't wait to see what they do with this one. Although I'm a little disappointed we won't get to see Jack being captured and tortured in China--probably some kind of politics going on with that one.
  
  

• Prison Break: I've said it before--this show is edge of your seat cool. This season has been just as harrowing as the last one and the writers are keeping the show fresh where other prison shows like Oz tended to fizzle out towards the end. I think they have one more good season in them before they should end this show but WOW what a ride it has been!

Now it's your turn to sound off. Are there any shows I'm missing out on? Why are they worth checking out?

TAGS:
Television Friday Night Lights My Name is Earl The Office Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip America\'s Funniest Home Videos Grey\'s Anatomy Lost Men in Trees What About Brian Brothers and Sisters The Class How I Met Your Mother Two and a Half Men House 24 Prison Break

About 30 minutes into this movie, I started making comparisons to Curb Your Enthusiasm in terms of how the situations were driving the comedy and the acting wasn't acting but rather natural response to fucked up situations.

And when the credits were rolling, I saw that Larry Charles was the director and all things became clear (Charles is a driving creative genius behind both Curb and Seinfeld).

This movie is pure genius but it's very uncomfortable and there is what seemed like a lot of nudity. Normally that wouldn't bother me but in this movie, none of that nudity was female.

It's all about the idiot with a golden heart stuck in a maelstrom of culture clash. The situations that Borat gets himself in are similar to those that Larry David does in Curb in that they are difficult, if not impossible, to explain himself out of but the difference is that Borat lacks the cultural ability to express himself to even begin explaining his intentions.

I laughed for about 103 of the 124 minutes of this movie and I cringed through the remaining 21 minutes. There was one scene in which I was actually the most uncomfortable I've ever been while watching a movie and had to physically look away from the screen (you'll know the scene I'm talking about when you see it).

I highly recommend you see this movie--it's not necessary to get the big screen experience if renting and viewing in your own home is your preference but it is definitely something you should check out.

PS: The Reno 911 movie trailer was incredibly funny as well and will likely be a renter for me when it hits DVD.

War is an investment market just like energy bonds and index funds. If you don't believe me, go ask McDonnell Douglas, Haliburton or the myriad of other companies whose entire business model is based on the premise of a consistent status of war as the foundation of human interaction on a global scale.

The organizing principle of American culture has always been in the Federal government's capacity to make war on foreign entities. In the beginning, the wars we fought helped to define an amalgamous mass of individual citizens with differing religious, economic and trade skill backgrounds into a hegemonious ideology which could be focused on the action of securing lebensraum through the dubious but necessary policy of Manifest Destiny.

But what happens when there are no more monsters to conquer? What happens when it just becomes the human race standing in a dimly lit room, looking at itself in the mirror for the first time--realizing the only other presence is the fear of our own reflection?

I just finished watching the first season of the HBO show Big Love about the polygamists and during the final episode you as the viewer are totally on the side of the plural marriage family as they are unjustly discriminated against and suddenly you're standing on the side of the monsters looking at things from a different angle.

The same thing will happen to kindhearted and open-minded people about homosexuality when they watch all six seasons of Six Feet Under.

The monsters in the closet are the shadows we refuse to see as cast from our own likeness.

And like it or not, the American political and industrial machines of war have a large responsibility in creating the culture of Islamo-fascism which currently threatens the Western way of life today.

I'm not saying we're to blame for it all but I am saying that both sides are looking into the same mirror and it makes no sense for the right hand reflection to blame the left hand reflection for the bad lighting in the room.

War is an investment market but what happens when the market itself changes? What happens when a paradigm shift slips in during the night like a silent lover who leaves you panting a satisfied but doesn't break your sleep or your dreams?

We are getting out of Iraq. Public opinion is beginning to weigh heavily on the Bush Administration and you can feel the change. Jesus once asked a group of dudes in dusty robes why it was that they could read the signs of the weather but could not read the signs of the times.

I think most people are like that--they think only terms of three dimensions when string theory tells us that there are so many more angles and plays going on than what is right in front of our faces.

I love my country--I do. But by my country, I mean the land and its people--not some artificially constructed notion of idealistic freedom which has no more foundation in reality than the idea that a man could physically ascend to a literal "heaven" when, even traveling at the speed of light his body wouldn't even be out of our own galaxy not to mention the hundred billion other galaxies out there.

Perception is the son of paradigm and paradigm is a fickle friend with its loyalty. It can just up and move when the check comes to the table.

TAGS:
Big Love War on Terror

So I'm reading David Milch's book about his show Deadwood which just came out last week and I'm telling you right now that if you watch that show, you will be truly missing out if you don't read that book. (And if you don't watch that show, you're getting idiot points for every day you don't go out and buy both seasons on DVD and eagerly await the third).

The reason this book is so great is that Milch approaches his work from a very intellectual and spiritual level and this book is much more of a philosophy of life and how the radiance of the divine shines through a work of art grounded in a specific conceit than it is a "making of a television show book."

On page 55 of this book, Milch makes the statement about the value of gold as the agreed upon standard of value between human beings compared with the power unleashed from a strong symbol:

The saving power of an agreed-upon abstraction is enshrined in our Declaration of Independence, where our founding fathers declared, "We hold these truths to be self evident." All men are not created equal, but we're goign to accept the fiction that all men are equal. The same way that we are going to accept the fiction that gold is worth something.

Milch does bring up a good point--anyone with common sense knows that everyone isn't created equal but I think that the Declaration is a statement of the principle that every human being should be considered to have the same opportunity to pursue happiness given whatever state of faculty, talent and passion they are born with.

Do you think he's right? Is the Declaration of Independence a lie agreed upon?

Jesus came and visited me during my nap today. I knew he'd be coming and I thought for sure that he would ask me how I felt about the season premiere of Battlestar Galactica and if I thought that the Bush administration had any inkling of how subversive it is to the War on Terror which is becoming ever more ridiculous and transparent as the days drag on.

I thought for sure he'd want to know what I thought about the Cylon machines that man made and which had since turned against man had now developed a fanatical belief system revolving around the concept of God which fuels their force-led occupation of New Cylon and what remains of the human race now in captivity on Cylon.

And I thought for sure that my bearded, cross-bearing friend would ask me what I thought about the suicide bombings that the most fanatical human beings started up in order to free themselves from a crusading army hell bent on imposing a foreign way of life on them in order to "save" them.

I was going to ask Jesus if he thought the Cylons would start referring to the people defending themselves and their property against invasion by an outside force as "insurgents" or not.

But that conversation never took place. Instead, Jesus asked me to tell him the story about the last cigarette I ever smoked which is strange because I've told him that one about five million times now.

That story always makes him laugh and I guess chuckles are hard to come by when you're the son of man responsible for bearing the world's sins on your lonely shoulders and all.

So I told him again because when the boss drops into your home, you fix him his favorite dinner and let him sit in the Archie Bunker chair right in front of the TV.

It was a Monday morning and I was just nineteen years old. I had been up late the night before, partying with Tiggity Turgin and Connelly and some other fraternity brothers. Bong hits, keg stands and beer slides--all in a day's work down on Digby in the Phi Delt house at the University of Cincinnati.

I was on my way to work and it had snowed heavily over night. I worked as a salesman at the electronics counter at Service Merchandise in Springdale. I was driving a 1981 black mustang with moon roof and I was late.

I must have been spacing out because I almost missed my exit. I slammed on the brakes without thinking about the sleet on 275. My car started fish tailing and whipped around until I smacked hard into the guard rail and came to a dead stop in the burm facing oncoming traffic.

I remember seeing the faces of two or three of the drivers as they passed me. I remember one man in particular, he had a wiry mustache that looked like it came from the 1970s. He was looking at me like, "What the fuck is that kid doing?"

I had no idea, myself.

I was about twenty-five yards into the off ramp of my exit but I was facing the wrong way. So, I started backing up onto the off-ramp. When I saw a break in traffic, I pulled a U-turn and weaseled back into traffic going the right way.

My hands were shaking and my heart was racing. I could have easily died had my car went the other way out of the fish tail. I needed a smoke or at least I knew that I was in a situation where a good smoker would be reaching for their stash and I thought I was going to become a good smoker because my coolest fraternity brothers were good smokers and I wanted to be like them because I was a lowly pledge and lowly pledges always want to be like the cool actives.

While I was stopped at the light outside the Comp USA there on 747, I fumbled in my glove box for the half-smoked pack of Marlboro lights and the cheap plastic yellow see through lighter I had been using lately. There was a solid brown stain on the side of the lighter from capping metal bowls being passed from Cheech to Chong.

I pulled a cigarette and stuck it to my bottom lip, pulling it into my mouth with my top lip. I flicked the spark wheel, totally forgetting the little game I was playing with the valve the night before as we sat outside by the pool as the snow started falling and the marijuana took hold of our minds and the conversation rose to a clamor.

Unfortunately for me, the lighter was set to its highest flame setting and when I flicked the spark wheel, a great plume of butane fire jumped past the cigarette and peaked on my forehead.

I screamed like a woman and threw the lighter to the floorboard on the passenger side so I had a free hand to put out the flame on my face.

I blew the cigarette out of my mouth when I said, "MOTHERFUCK!"

I smelled burnt hair and looked into the mirror. I had no eyebrows left. Back in those days, I didn't have a goatee and had recently shaved my head on the sides and had long hair on top. Without eyebrows, I looked like a shaved penis vomiting hair.

I don't have to tell you the punishment I took from the active brothers and even my good friends. It took about a month for my eyebrows to grow back.

That was the last cigarette I ever smoked and the next time Jesus wants to hear this story, he can come back to this blog post and read it himself.

NOTES:

• Pic comes from Antimedia

LINKS:

• In a study of Presidential doodles, JFK wrote "9/11" with the word "conspiracy" next to it.
  

• Watching Battlestar Galactica from the Middle East
  

• Keith Olberman's Definition of the Difference Between Terrorists and Critics

TAGS:
Battlestar Galactica

When I saw this book listed on the Entertainment Weekly's biggest grossing non fiction list, I assumed it was a biography of Bob Marley. It wasn't. Turns out, this is one of the best animal owner memoirs I've ever read--right behind Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls.

Marley the dog was a 97-lb. yellow lab who was crazy as hell but loved his family without end. Grogan is a very good writer and his voice kept me engaged (I listened to the audio version of the book).

The book covers the entire life of Marley from puppyhood to death and the growth of Grogan's family from a twesome in West Palm Beach all the way to his three children in the snow drifts of Pennsylvania.

The book was easy to keep up with, it was moving at times, bringing tears to my eyes (I'm a softy when it comes to animals and especially dogs); and it was hilarious. I must have laughed out loud twenty times during this book.

I highly recommend Grogan's book. Buy it for your mother for Christmas--you won't be sorry.

NOTES:

• This is my own dog in the picture. I love the Boxer breed and wanted one for several years before I moved into a home big enough to accomodate my sixty pound beauty. She's dumb as a rock but has the heart of Rocky Balboa and I have always cherished big hearts over big brains in my animals and close friends (I have enough brains to counter-balance the ratio).
  

• The first five minutes of Lost blew my fugging mind! I will be posting about this show tomorrow after I cogitate the sweet lunacy this season has started off to become.

LINKS:

• JD Gets the Final Word on the Foley Scandal
  

• The Executive Coloring Book (Hilarious!)
  

• Are You Ready for the THC Patch and Gum?
  

• Check Out the New Dyson 400MPH Hand Dryer

TAGS:
John Grogan Marley and Me