Read the Boys Wear Pants How to Think Series

Oh yeah, the Buckeyes won too.

In the year 1818, Columbus Ohio was an up and coming village that had been founded by Lucas Sullivant, a territorial surveyor of the West during George Washington's second term as President.

There were less than 2,000 residents of Columbus in 1818 when William Neil came to Columbus from Kentucky. The war of 1812 had only been over for two years and there was a lot of opportunity for a big boisterous man like "Billy" Neil. Some called him a sonofabitch, some called him a beneficent leader of the community but everyone called him The Stagecoach King.

He started a small inn across the street from the state capital building on High Street. He was an honest man but a hard man as well. God help you if you crossed him.

He started putting his money into stagecoaches and in a few short years what were many coach lines became few and guess who owned them?

Anc once the King of Stagecoaches was living comfortably, he started putting his money into land--the only thing they weren't making any more of.

In 1824, Columbus had a lot of low lying wetlands which bred mosquitoes by the thousands. These mosquitoes brought a plague to the residents and killed off many of the first generation of Columbus's finest.

One of these fine citizens owned a huge farm just north of the village proper. Billy Neil bought the land when he died. The Neil farm ran from First Avenue to Lane Avenue and from High street to the river we all know, love and call the faithful Olentangy. The Neil farm in the mid-1800s was the showpiece of Columbus--the jewel in the crown of central Ohio.

Billy's wife Hannah was one of the most kind-hearted citizens Ohio has ever known. She founded the Hannah Neil Mission and Home for the Friendless as well as the Columbus Female Benevolent Society, a charity which continues to provide for the needy to this day in Columbus, Ohio.

In 1863, possibly in anticipation of the Civil War smoldering down to its inevitable conclusion, the Neil farm house caught fire and burned to the ground. Hannah became sick with pneumonia shortly after and died. Billy followed her seven years later. The Neil farm was then used as a site to found the brand new Ohio Agricultural and Mechanical College which changed its name in 1878 to The Ohio State University.

They started a small football team in 1890.

The Ohio State University is now the third largest arena of higher education in the United States and not only has the best football team in the nation, it has the Best Damn Band in the Land.

So, when we're all downtown watching the Buckeyes kick ass this weekend, let's remember old Billy Neil and his saint of a wife who made Ohio a better place for all of us. Actually, it's hard to forget Billy Neil because his farm had a private drive that one had to travel on to reach his farm house. It was named after, well, Billy Neil. It's still around today only now we call it Neil Avenue.

Here's a salute to the people of Columbus. Even though I can't stand your friggin' asses in rush hour traffic, Monday through Friday; I sure do love you bastards on Buckeye Saturdays.

Go Bucks!

TAGS:
The Ohio State University Billy Neil William Neil The Stagecoach King Columbus, Ohio OSU Buckeyes football

I've decide not to live blog the OSU Texas game tonight because I want to enjoy watching it. But fear not, here are RULES THAT EVERY BUCKEYE FAN IS REQUIRED TO FOLLOW!! (Hat tip to April for sending this to me on e-mail):

• Never agree to get married on a Saturday Ohio State is scheduled to play football. There are typically 40 other freakin' weekends to choose from...stand up and make her choose one of those!
  
  
• Never attend a wedding during an Ohio State football game unless you carry a TV...... and watch it even during the ceremony.
  
  
• It is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old.... and fat.... and bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on
  
  
• Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O." This is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth of your child.
  
  
• When Notre Dame plays Michigan, it is mandatory to despise both teams. There are no winners.
  
  
• You cannot have a second favorite football team behind OSU. You are permitted to have another team (non-Big Ten or ND) that you hate less than the others.
  
  
• It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up) during the following:
  • Script Ohio
  • Your child's first Buckeye game
  • Carmen Ohio
  • During a Tressel speech
  • Remembering Woody
  • After beating Michigan
  • Winning the National Championship
  • Hearing Brett Musberger exclaim,"Holy Buckeye!"
  • When NFL Buckeyes state on MNF that they are from "THE" Ohio State University
  • Hearing the phrase, "Rest easy Woody, the new man has arrived."
  • Ramp entrance.
  
  
• It is not cool to make fun of the Neutron Man. Especially now that he is watching games with Woody.
  
  
• Buckeye necklaces must be worn at all times on game day from the time you leave your place of abode until you return. One other time: If you happen to get desperate and are in the process of bagging a girl from Michigan, you must have on your Buckeye necklace to ward off any feelings of affection. (This is true even if you go over to the dark side and marry her).
  
  
• Always take off your hat during Carmen Ohio and physically remove the hats of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
  
  
• Everyone should rush the field after an OSU home victory over Michigan at least once in their lifetime.
  
  
• Attending Skull Session is mandatory at least once each season.
  
  
• ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity.
  
  
• We must all pray that the next president of OSU has more of a clue than the present one.
  
  
• When you die, you must have at least one item of Buckeye memorabilia with you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick something stupid).
  
  
• You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Joe Pa is still a "good guy."
  
  
• Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even if it puts your job/career at risk.
  
  
• Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
  
  
• When in church, it is not sacrilegious to count being a Buckeye as one of your blessings.
  
  
• Try to never boo a former or current Buckeye football player.
  
  
• Correct anyone who doesn't refer to OSU as "THE" Ohio State University.
  
  
• When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments with a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is very cool.
  
  
• Admit that secretly, you wished you played tuba and could dot the "i."
  
  
• It is important to consider the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them even when OSU doesn't win the National Championship.
  
  
• Scarlet and Gray always works.
  
  
• It is never ok to talk to a stranger at the urinal next to you unless he is dressed in OSU garb. That said, the topic should be limited to Buckeye football.
  
  
• There are no bad seats in Ohio Stadium.
  
  
• If you attend a game at Wisconsin, you must never engage in "Jump Around" at the end of the third quarter no matter how tempting. Also, never, and I mean NEVER, take your kids to a Wisconsin game unless you want to explain why everyone there are drunken cheesehead jerks.
  
  
• If your wife asks you what was the greatest night of your life, admit the truth that it was January 3, 2003. Sex isn't as important or rewarding as that National Championship.
  
  
• Plant a Buckeye tree in your yard.
  
  
• Hang a Buckeye flag on game day. If any of your neighbors counter with a Michigan flag, it is your solemn duty to tear it down and deface it anyway you see fit. If you have a neighborhood community, make it a rule that there will be NO Michigan flags displayed outside on anything at any time of the year.
  
  
• It is "ok" to not get the drum major thing; it is "not ok" to fail to cheer when the plume touches the field.
  
  
• In honor of Woody, the principle of "paying forward" should be practiced at all times by all Buckeyes.

TAGS:
Ohio Ohio State Buckeyes

Tommy's Talk: We arrived at Tommy's at about 13:15 and were told by the moron taking names at the door that it would be an hour and a half wait. There were probably twenty people standing around waiting, by no means a standing room only crowd. This idiot, in his infinite wisdom, turned away droves of potential paying customers by telling them it would be an hour and a half wait two hours before game time. We were seated in 20 minutes. My step-dad, my father-in-law and I sat and ordered a pitcher of Miller Lite, three Italian subs and a large pepperoni pizza. My step-brother showed up as they put the pizza on the table and the waitress brought the second pitcher.

Topics of conversation included:

• The idiot at the door taking names

• The irony of Chris Spielman's (former OSU linebacker) first ESPN announcing assignment covering the Michigan Vanderbilt game

• The signed Jim Tressel T-shirt in the Tommy's display case which read "To my friends at Tommy's PS: Great Pizza!"

• My step-brother's screwgie at the hands of the Kroger pharmacy when they gave him only 9 of a 14 pill prescription for antibiotics and how it would be impossible for him to prove it (his theory is that they shook out last 23 pills from the big bottle, divided it into two piles and then put the wrong pile in his bottle)

• The rising popularity of Fantasy Football (we all concluded it would be a waste of our time)

• The effects of the new time clock rule which starts the clock at the placing of the ball instead of at the beginning of the set

Our bill came to $47.07 and we tipped the waitress $10 and made our way to Shoe at 15:10.

The Game: The first quarter was amazing, with three touchdowns by the Bucks. Troy Smith's arm looked as good as it ever has and flawless pass to Teddy Ginn brought the first and second TD and Gonzo's reception brought us the third in the quarter. Chris Wells scored another 6 at the beginning of the second but that was pretty much it. The team missed a lot of opportunities throughout the rest of the game:

• Missing a tackle which should have been a safety

• Chris Wells fumbling the damn ball on the 2 yard line

• Tressel putting Justin Zwick in on 2nd and Goal and him fumbling the frigging ball again

You could definitely feel a pull back after the first quarter and my suspicion is that once we hit a 28 point lead, we began playing next week's Texas game. Consider that the Longhorns destroyed the Mean Green 56-7 today--to me, that means that Texas put all their cards on the table. You don't just destroy a weak opponent by 49 points unless you're trying to put the points on the board. On the other hand, Tressel is nothing if not conservative and I would hate to be on the other side of the poker table from him because the man keeps his cards close to his sweater vest.

While there were a couple of mistakes which cannot be made in next week's game--the Bucks backed up their number one ranking, in my opinion and I think a lot of the pull back after the first quarter blow out was in preparation for next week's game.

But time will tell. All in all, it was a great start to what will undoubtedly be a great season here in the capital city of Ohio.

I think I'm going to try Live Blogging the Texas game next week.

Weirdness of the Day: The old man in sitting in front of us tucked his shirt into his underwear. Not that I was purposely looking or anything, but he sat leaning and had an Akroyd. That's just some serious strangeness. Who tucks their shirt into their underwear?

LINKS:

• OSU Buckeyes vs. Norther Illinois Huskies

TAGS:
Football, Ohio, Ohio State University, Buckeyes, Northern Illinois University, Huskies