• Never agree to get married on a Saturday Ohio State is scheduled to play football. There are typically 40 other freakin' weekends to choose from...stand up and make her choose one of those!
  
  
• Never attend a wedding during an Ohio State football game unless you carry a TV...... and watch it even during the ceremony.
  
  
• It is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old.... and fat.... and bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on
  
  
• Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O." This is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth of your child.
  
  
• When Notre Dame plays Michigan, it is mandatory to despise both teams. There are no winners.
  
  
• You cannot have a second favorite football team behind OSU. You are permitted to have another team (non-Big Ten or ND) that you hate less than the others.
  
  
• It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up) during the following:
  • Script Ohio
  • Your child's first Buckeye game
  • Carmen Ohio
  • During a Tressel speech
  • Remembering Woody
  • After beating Michigan
  • Winning the National Championship
  • Hearing Brett Musberger exclaim,"Holy Buckeye!"
  • When NFL Buckeyes state on MNF that they are from "THE" Ohio State University
  • Hearing the phrase, "Rest easy Woody, the new man has arrived."
  • Ramp entrance.
  
  
• It is not cool to make fun of the Neutron Man. Especially now that he is watching games with Woody.
  
  
• Buckeye necklaces must be worn at all times on game day from the time you leave your place of abode until you return. One other time: If you happen to get desperate and are in the process of bagging a girl from Michigan, you must have on your Buckeye necklace to ward off any feelings of affection. (This is true even if you go over to the dark side and marry her).
  
  
• Always take off your hat during Carmen Ohio and physically remove the hats of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
  
  
• Everyone should rush the field after an OSU home victory over Michigan at least once in their lifetime.
  
  
• Attending Skull Session is mandatory at least once each season.
  
  
• ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity.
  
  
• We must all pray that the next president of OSU has more of a clue than the present one.
  
  
• When you die, you must have at least one item of Buckeye memorabilia with you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick something stupid).
  
  
• You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Joe Pa is still a "good guy."
  
  
• Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even if it puts your job/career at risk.
  
  
• Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
  
  
• When in church, it is not sacrilegious to count being a Buckeye as one of your blessings.
  
  
• Try to never boo a former or current Buckeye football player.
  
  
• Correct anyone who doesn't refer to OSU as "THE" Ohio State University.
  
  
• When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments with a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is very cool.
  
  
• Admit that secretly, you wished you played tuba and could dot the "i."
  
  
• It is important to consider the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them even when OSU doesn't win the National Championship.
  
  
• Scarlet and Gray always works.
  
  
• It is never ok to talk to a stranger at the urinal next to you unless he is dressed in OSU garb. That said, the topic should be limited to Buckeye football.
  
  
• There are no bad seats in Ohio Stadium.
  
  
• If you attend a game at Wisconsin, you must never engage in "Jump Around" at the end of the third quarter no matter how tempting. Also, never, and I mean NEVER, take your kids to a Wisconsin game unless you want to explain why everyone there are drunken cheesehead jerks.
  
  
• If your wife asks you what was the greatest night of your life, admit the truth that it was January 3, 2003. Sex isn't as important or rewarding as that National Championship.
  
  
• Plant a Buckeye tree in your yard.
  
  
• Hang a Buckeye flag on game day. If any of your neighbors counter with a Michigan flag, it is your solemn duty to tear it down and deface it anyway you see fit. If you have a neighborhood community, make it a rule that there will be NO Michigan flags displayed outside on anything at any time of the year.
  
  
• It is "ok" to not get the drum major thing; it is "not ok" to fail to cheer when the plume touches the field.
  
  
• In honor of Woody, the principle of "paying forward" should be practiced at all times by all Buckeyes.

TAGS:
Ohio Ohio State Buckeyes

• The idiot at the door taking names

• The irony of Chris Spielman's (former OSU linebacker) first ESPN announcing assignment covering the Michigan Vanderbilt game

• The signed Jim Tressel T-shirt in the Tommy's display case which read "To my friends at Tommy's PS: Great Pizza!"

• My step-brother's screwgie at the hands of the Kroger pharmacy when they gave him only 9 of a 14 pill prescription for antibiotics and how it would be impossible for him to prove it (his theory is that they shook out last 23 pills from the big bottle, divided it into two piles and then put the wrong pile in his bottle)

• The rising popularity of Fantasy Football (we all concluded it would be a waste of our time)

• The effects of the new time clock rule which starts the clock at the placing of the ball instead of at the beginning of the set

• Missing a tackle which should have been a safety

• Chris Wells fumbling the damn ball on the 2 yard line

• Tressel putting Justin Zwick in on 2nd and Goal and him fumbling the frigging ball again

• OSU Buckeyes vs. Norther Illinois Huskies