Now I’m not the blogsman that Josh is but, a friend of mine posted this on her website. I’m going to be very un-technical and spell it out as I don’t want her site to get more traffic than it deserves. I know it’s long but I apologize now to the blogoshpere.

Regardless, here is the original post:

RULES OF DINING OUT:
There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse. Oh and Be Nice!!! 'Cause remember...we are serving you your meal !!!!!

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS": If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. Don't get mad if you ask for crackers and your server tells you they're out when you just saw another table eating crackers with their soup — can you blame them for not wanting to clean up the mess afterward? We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.

2. "THE CAMPERS": If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money.

3. COMPLIMENTS: Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS: Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we cant pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out. Also don't try to preach to us while we are working. We don't go to your work and put you down so don't do it to us.

5. TIPPING: It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Remember, that steak is $12.99 not $22.99 because restaurants aren't required to pay minimum wage in most states! ($2.13 in Texas & Ohio!)We are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically anyway, not to mention we have to tip out a percentage of our sales - your bill - to the hosts, bartenders, and bussers. So if you dont leave a tip, WE END UP PAYING FOR YOUR MEAL!! So move that decimal one spot left and multiply by 2 and your server will never be disappointed. ($25 = $2.50 x 2 = $5)

6. THE COMPLAINERS: If you get a discount because of your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us. And don't ever leave a percentage on the total after the discount or comp — always tip on what the total would have been.

7. THE LATE ONES: If you come into the restraunt 10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Dennys if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

8. THE TABLE HOGGERS: If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

9. THE GREET: When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "can we get some bread, or "what are the soups?"

10. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES: Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restraunt. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

11. TAKE-AWAY OR TOGOS: Always remember to tip the take-out order servers! They work just as hard as a server, and hardly ever get tips for it! WE DESERVE TO BE TIPPED TOO!

12. DRINKERS! If you're drunk, don't touch the waitress, ask her to sit in your lap or kiss her! If you do we will add $100 bucks to your tab. It madatory!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SERVERS READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please repost this so the word can get out, since so many people are uneducated about tips and our lives depend on this - atleast for now......

Now, I know what my audience is here so I’ll tread lightly, as I only wish to consume my own saliva. And I know that there are a lot of servers out there that bust their asses and work for their money. However, for every one that does, it seems there is also one that should work retail. I’m going to try to provide a decent response to this posting. Also, as it addresses all customers, I will address all servers. That being said…

Regarding Camping: If my we come in to talk over a cup of coffee and the places isn’t busy, don’t push us out the door. Sometimes camping is legal. If we keep you there later than you’d like to be there… We’re sorry, but it is what you’re getting paid $2.13/hr for. Your choice of vocation is none of our concern.

Regarding Tipping: There is no minimum. Tipping is based on merit. If you deserve it, We’ll give you a good tip. If you completely forget my salad and we never get that refill you told us about… Oh, what’dya know… We just forgot your tip. Crazy how that works, huh? The restaurant, the price of the meal and the service are all taken into account. Carry out lunch from the diner down the street won’t get the same tip as a sit down dinner at the steakhouse downtown. The end all be all is that we work hard for our money too, hence, why we’re not so quick to part with it.

Regarding The Complainers: Let’s say someone at your establishment screwed up and we’re getting a discount. We are sympathetic and understanding that you get paid crap (you could choose a better paying line of work, but we digress). Regardless the point of the discount is we’ve been wronged and this is to make it right. The tip is to be reduced by the same ratio as the bill. Take it up with the manager, like we probably had to do.

Regarding The Late Ones: If the door closes at 10:00, we I get there at 9:50 and you have to stay, sorry about your luck. In retail there is a synonymous person, The Midnight Shopper. The fact is though, that’s part of the job. Now, if you have a “later one” who is also a “camper”, you have every right to spit in their food. You have our permission.

The counter part to “The Greet” is “The Close”: Don’t be a jerk through out the whole meal and then kiss our collective asses when you bring the bill. This legitimately constitutes deduction, on principle.

Regarding take-away and to-gos: We call bullshit! Usually, the person who carries my stuff 50 feet to my car is a hostess. In addition to what we’ve paid for the meal, you want a tip? Here’s your tip: Deliver to my house, not my car door after I’ve driven there.

Now for our gripes…

Time: If we come in for lunch, there is a distinct possibility we have to be back to work by a certain time. If we’re able to make it there for lunch that’s usually an hour but, remember, we had to drive there too. The clock didn’t start when our ass hit the seat. Now is not the time to balance your checkbook, finish your psych homework for your 3:00 class or flirt with the other staffers and/or customers. And what the hell is going on when you’re all standing in the corner or near the fountain drink dispenser talking to each other? There’s no time for your union meetings on our lunch.

Timing: And is it some kind of rule that you HAVE to ask how our food is immediately after we’ve taken a bite to eat? Do they teach you that at Shitty Server Academy? Seriously… Do they? We’re just curious.

Separate, not together: Don’t give us shit for asking for separate checks. You should have asked if it was going to be on one bill when you see certain groups at your table. Very rarely is one person paying for everyone in a party of five adults. Use your head a bit. You go out to eat too, don’t ya? But we forgot, you’re part of the union so you know the rules.

Hovering: This can be overly good and overly bad. Overly good in that you’re crowding us, which is still bad. So apparently it’s just overly bad. Anyway, maybe we’re your only table, possibly we’re your last table, and you want to go home. We’re not going to scarf down our food so you can go home (see argument for The Late Ones). In fact, if you’re a big enough dick, we’ll probably do the opposite simply to spite you. Do don’t trip over our tent poles while doing your sidework.

Overly bad is when you’re hovering around another table and forgetting us. When a female hovers around a table of guys to look cute or a guy hovers around a table of girls to look down their shirts, it’s bullshit. You may get more from them, but you’ll get less from us. Consider your options. Weight them carefully. Your hovering will get you shot down on occasion.

In closing, servers have gripes and customers have gripes. It’s not a perfect world. Customers, read this and don’t be dicks. Servers, read some of this and quit your bitching.

If you’re needlessly cheap, stop going out or loosen the purse strings, Mr. Pink. Most servers are hard working people who need a job that pays, just like you.

If you think this list should be printed on the placemats at your establishment, quit your bitching and/or find a new line of work. You’re part of the service industry. Suck it up.

TAGS:
Food Service, Servers, Dining Out