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I've been reading Tony Pierce's blog for about two months now, since Shane Nickerson recommended him to his readers.

But I have to say that I haven't seen much in the way of substance. Sure, the guy is a good writer but I've known plenty of good writers that have dick to say.

I went to writing school with writers that put Bus Blog writing to shame and a lot of those writers are doing dick with their talent; either because they saw no light at the end of the penis shaft called publishing or because they lost all their drive in the crash to get the BFA or because they had no vision in the first place, just raw talent and a flaming desire to piss off their parents with a next to worthless degree in corporate eyes.

But, the worst thing you can do as a writer is grab the mike, the pen, or the keyboard and waste your nation's time.

I hate to say it, but a lot of Bus Blog and Wil Wheaton and even Nickerblog's stuff is mental masturbation that comes from egos too large that haven't been checked and curbed by talented and skilled writers in a peer group.

These guys are talented but they jerk off a lot on the screen too; and that's okay, just don't expect me to stand around and watch it drizzle down. I wouldn't do this any more than I would have asked to read my fellow BGBFA compadres private writing journals. Who gives a shit? Get to the meat already. No one cares about what movie you watched last weekend and how much you enjoyed it. Does the movie have something to do with what's going on in our lives? Then stick it in the clouds and come back to earth, already.

We need to know what you think about important shit, not the mechanics and operations of the poker match you played last weekend.

I respect all authors in the blogging community and fully support the right to free exchange of information and emotion; but the First Amendment guarantees us a right to speak freely, not an audience to listen to what we have to say.

And what I'm saying is that the Blogosphere is an information market where the currency is time and attention, which is the most valuable commodity in human existence. Like any market, there are unspoken standards, invisible hands with fingers snapping. If your product (your blog) isn't dancing in tune with the snaps, you're gonna find yourself without a chair when the music stops and your audience has moved on to the next song.

So, fellow bloggers, don't be surprised when you get out of place if someone like me steps in to slam you back into the locker that all writing geeks crawl out of when the jocks and lipstick cock whores aren't looking and can't shove us back in.

[Update: I just liked the sound of "lipstick cock whore" but this would never make it past my editing team which is why it's on a blog and not one of my articles.]

Sho' Nuff!

UPDATE #1:

Shane Nickerson posted a blog entry in response to this post here.

UPDATED #2:

Look, this whole thing came about because I had an adverse reaction to Tony's column where he basically threw down the gauntlet and called himself king shit and said everyone needs to bow down to his blog if they were ever going to be considered anything in the blogosphere. Well, I had only been reading his stuff for a couple months so I didn't see the sack that went with the hype.

Then I began thinking about what Wil and Shane had been posting about for the last few weeks as well and I thought, "How are they maintaining these many thousands of people daily who keep coming back for this fluff?" So, I posted this blog to confront my audience with the issue. It got picked up and became the topic of much bigger conversations and much larger audiences than I am used to entertaining here in my home. But this is a good thing because the question is out on the table.

What the fug are you people doing with your time that you consider it well spent to tune in to spaced out entries and rambling blog posts that go on like the Dead singing Turn on Your Lovelight at an Acid Test?

See, what frustrates me so much is that there is only so much attention to go around and if that attention is getting used up with the mundanities and trivialities of the lives of actors and voyeurs who put their diaries out on the web, then that means even less attention will be paid to the important things--you know, civil defense, the war on terror, economic, healthcare, and education reform--that sort of thing. I'm talking about the things that have dramatic impacts on every person's life on this planet.

I believe it is each citizen's duty to arm themselves with information that does not come from a a centralized or corporate source and I see blogs as a way to circumvent that very dangerous situation.

However, if you're just here to have fun or engage in mindless mental voyeurisms then step out of the way before I step over ya' (to quote Andrew Dice Clay).

Consider it a Cluetrain Manifesto to bloggers to keep it real or take it the fuck home because the game just got serious.

UPDATE #3: Malatron from A Blog Soup brings some levity to the whole situation--which I am completely done with--Jesus, my marriage isn't even this hard! And I'm giving props to Tony for schoolin' me on turning blog posts into photo journals that add weight to content--good lookin' out, holmes]

UPDATE #5: See, this is serious and exactly what I'm talking about as far as substance in blog posts.