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December 9, 2006

Thoughts on Blackberries

by Joshua Minton

No, not the actual berries. I'm talking about the voice-data device which has been around for about ten years or so but which just recently fell into your never-humble correspondent's sticky little paws.

I suspect that all workplaces with these devices are the same--they are a status symbol. When you get to carry your e-mail and cell phone on your hip; your company has given you a badge of importance much like military stripes.

And it feels good to have one. It feels like you're important. People walk and roll the circle on the side like they're reading the most interesting thing instead of spam e-mail that gets through the filters.

And even talking on the phone with the blackberry is a power symbol. In an age when most phones are the size of a suppository, the blackberry is like a tricorder from the original Star Trek series. Again, it's not just a phone call--it's a social statement but one that my ego enjoys making.

So, tell me--what's your experience with blackberries or similar devices in the workplace? Are they just another ego-stroking measure by professional salaried people to lord their importance over paid-by-the-hour schleps?

Or are they a valuable resource for getting shit done in corporate America?

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December 5, 2006

Thoughts on DVR vs Tivo

by Joshua Minton

My father-in-law called me last night to tell me that he purchased a Direct TV HD-DVR for $200. He was the first in the family to purchase a High Definition Samsung 50" DLP television and he bought the DirectTV HD-receiver at the time. The receiver did not pick up local channels so he had to buy an external antennae to pick up the local stations in HD.

He had a Tivo Series 2 at the time (and a Series 1 as well, which he purchase from my wife and I when we upgraded to our Series 2). But the Series 2 Tivo wouldn't record in HD and he ended up watching the majority of his shows in less than Standard Definition in spite of paying the premium through Direct TV for their High Definition package.

So, when his DirectTV HD-receiver started going on the fritz (after only two years, mind you); he broke down and got the HD-DVR. He said it will record 50 hours of HD programming or 250 hours of regular programming. This is massive.

My own DVR which I pay a $12 fee for through my cable company, only records 30 hours of HD programming but is a dual-tuner meaning I can record two shows at the same as I'm watching something I've already recorded.

Now, he's still underwriting the risk of hardware by purchasing the $200 DVR unit for DirectTV while my $12 a month will get me a replacement if mine breaks but even that is a far cry from the $1,000 that Tivo is asking for the Series 3. And you have to pay a monthly Tivo premium on top of that.

Tivo is now giving away Series 2 boxes but this is something they should have been doing three years ago. See, why do you think DirectTV has become so prevalent in the cable marketplace? Because they're giving away the equipment and encouraging people to leave the dishes on houses when they move. DirectTV can be installed on campers, buses, boats and other large vehicles whereas cable needs a static residence.

Tivo had some great online features that allowed for remote scheduling as well as downloading shows to a PC but these weren't valuable enough services to me to justify taking $1,000 risk on my own shoulders plus paying a monthly premium on top of that.

And guess what? Rumor has it that the Tivo Series 3 won't even work with satellite cable--how insane is that? Why in the world would you leave out such a significant portion of your market when you're striving to keep as many clients as possible, not to mention gaining new ones.

Tivo's demise is a market inevitability despite the one-time superiority of its product. They were the brand to beat in the DVR market at one time but now the brand is beaten and what will follow is the natural progression of the best goods and services bubbling to the top in a consumer market.

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September 26, 2006

Boys Wear Pants on the Inevitable Death of Tivo

by Joshua Minton

There has been a coup de tat in my household and a mighty tyranny has been overthrown. Since September of 2004, an evil regime has reigned with an iron fist in my household, a regime with a no tolerance policy for cable television. That regime has now crumbled and a new day of High Definition digital greatness in the Minton household.

Seriously though--I made a deal with my wife in the late Summer of 2004 where, if I bought a new laptop, I would give up cable television for two years (I actually had Direct TV at the time). It was a good deal although it left my Tivo with only antennae juice to feed it and the Tivo fell prey to a lightning storm shortly thereafter.

So, I was totally off television for more than a year, watching DVDs and reading more (go figure). But in November of 2005 I purchased an XBOX 360 and there was a major techtonic shift in the digital atmosphere of my household--and the urge to purchase a HDTV became unstoppable.

I was proud to add a 42" Samsung DLP to my digital arsenal in January of this year and a new dawn of High Definition viewing (and video game playing) was born. Due to my location in Columbus, I was able to receive every major local High Definition signal with a $40 amplified antenna.

But for the past two months, I have been getting a real itch to get back into cable--probably the roll-out of the new Fall television schedule. But I cannot stand watching real television. I have to have a DVR or a Tivo so I had to research several options.

First, I could have repaired my Tivo which I still have a lifetime service plan on (they no longer offer this as an option). It would have cost be about $150 to get it fixed and would have worked adequately to record the network shows. But a Series 2 Tivo does not record in HD. To many of you that may not sound like a big deal but I assure you that once you start watching television shows in High Definition, going back to watching standard broadcasts is like going from sleeping with a Penthouse pet back to masturbating in a dark room.

The ability to record HD on a DVR was very important in my choice of which way to go.

This left me with three options to explore:
  1. Purchase a Tivo Series 3

  2. Purchase a Direct TV HD-DVR and get back into service plan with Direct TV

  3. Digital Cable with HD-plan and HD-DVR


The Tivo Series 3 just came out a couple of weeks ago and costs about $1,000 for the unit plus you have to pay a $12.95 a month service fee. And because I'm not a South American coke dealer or own major stock in an oil company, I don't have those kind of duckets lying around the house to piss away on entertainment (no matter how cool High Definition is).

So, onto Direct TV. You can get an HD-DVR for Direct TV for about $300. The good news is that there isn't an additional fee to pay for the DVR service itself since it's built into the Direct TV unit. You do have to get a specialized antennae that has three prongs on it, so figure on shelling out another $100 for that at least. So, for an upfront cost of roughly $400, I could get a programming package that would probably run me every bit of $60 a month for HD through Direct TV.

And cable. I already get my internet through my cable company so bundling services would save me an automatic $10. Beyond that, the cable company underwrites the cost of the HD-DVR equipment so there is no upfront fee and no risk of the product wearing out or breaking. Plus, there isn't a service fee broken out from the cable packaging itself--in other words, I pay for digital cable with DVR and and extra $7.95 a month for the HD package which includes Discover Channel's HD theatre, ESPN HD, HD NET, HD NET Movies and all my local stations in HD. The DVR records about 40 hours of HD programming or about 200 hours of standard and it's fairly easy to use.

That being said, Tivo's big advantage is its ease of use. It's much easier to set recordings, season passes and navigate through the software with Tivo but the price makes it totally out of the box when it comes to sensible people on a budget making smart choices about their entertainment dollar.

Right now, I'm sticking with cable--it seems to be exactly what I'm looking for.

If you guys have any opinions or stories about your own DVR search, please leave us a comment so we can all learn from each other and find the best avenue for wasting our money.

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August 22, 2006

Dark Matter Pisses Me Off and Why I Think It's Wrong as a Cosmological Constant

by Joshua Minton



I spend so much time tearing down religious and social institutions on this blog that I rarely turn my hydra-headed attention span to the world of science so excuse me while I fix my sniper scope here. Ok, got it. In the crosshairs today are the astronomers and cosmologists who are searching relentlessly for proof of "dark matter" which is needed in order to justify the current scientific model of the Universe.

Scientists are some of the most hard-headed sumbitches on the planet--way more hard headed than even our President whose head is made out of granite and whose will to change is as obstinate as a Viagra hard on at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch.

Scientists don't like change which is why Einstein, to justify his model of the Universe, came up with some bullcheet he called The Cosmological Constant in order to keep a stationary universe as the hub of his scientific worldview. He was as wrong as whatever dumb ass movie studio decided to remake Adventures in Babysitting as a black (as in people) comedy. Einstein was wrong because the galaxies are in motion and in fact are gaining speed the further they progress in time and distance.

So he was wrong. It happens. Geniuses fuck up. Brilliant men cheat on their wives and ruin their families all because the brain in the little head thinks in microwaves while the brain in the big head thinks in the radio portion of the spectrum.

But here's the thing that none of these astronomers are thinking about--light moves in both particles and waves and a wave is spread out. Perhaps the galaxies we see as distinct and separate are spread out as well.

Consider what would happen if we accepted the notion that the Universe is much smaller than we believe it is and what seems to be "billions and billions" of galaxies are actually thousands and thousands but we are looking at the entire period of their movement in time from one single vantage point--this moment!

This would account for the missing matter in the universe and show that things are as they should be mass-wise without having to go to the basement and pull some stinky shit called "dark matter" out of our arses in order to explain why birds fly and babies cry.

Perhaps we are seeing the same galaxy at different points in space and time and our senses are telling us they are distinct but in actuality it is the same matter in different stages of progression through time.

So while it may seem that the universe is huge; perhaps we are once again limited by our senses and by the structure of thought which is deeply rooted in time and founded upon the division of objects into temporal phenomenality.

It is possible that the Universe is much smaller and far more intimate that we have given it credit for--but we may just have to step outside our own egos in order to see it.

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July 31, 2006

What Exactly are Conservatives Conserving?: Revisiting the Ozone Layer Crisis

by Joshua Minton

I know a lot of conservatives. Hell, I voted for Bush in the last two elections--the first time because I was all gung-ho wearing my newbie conservative powdered wig and the second because I thought he was the lesser of two evils.

And most of the conservatives I know pride themselves on perpetually repeating the mantra that the scientific theory global warming and the harm that we are doing to the ozone is all a sham. So, willingly ignoring the fifteen years of scientific study I had undergone to the year 2000, I went along with them and effectively said, "Yeah, that science stuff is bullshit. There shouldn't be government regulation to protect the environment." After all, I thought, human beings have been here for millions of years and human civilization has been around for tens of thousands of those years and we haven't significantly affected the biosphere in that time. Why should this time be any different?

Yeah, I know, the Overlord--yours truly--stopped thinking. Who knows, maybe I was still trying to read Old Man Bush's lips when he stuttered the second syllable of "tax-es."

So let's go over this whole sy-ince thing again as it relates to the ozone because reading about it in Carl Sagan's last book has got me thinking again and that means danger to this administration who continues to rely on its voters and supporters to continue not thinking.

So here goes: All of the air on Earth is made up of about 20% Oxygen which is actually a diatomic molecule of two (2) oxygen atoms because Oxygen doesn't like to be alone. So, when energy strikes Oxygen, it breaks up the atoms which then go off to join with other atoms that readily accept chemical bonds.

Well, back in the 1920s, refrigerators came out and they originally contained poisonous ammonia or sulfur dioxide which circulated through them to keep the food cold and tended to kill people when the refrigerators leaked. So, enter the corporate chemists who create chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) which are made up of one carbon atom, and/or chlorine or fluorine atoms (the most famous of which was Freon produced by DuPont). Well, according to Sagan, by the 1970s a million tons of these CFCs were produced each year and they were in everything from deodorant spray to your mother's dildo.

The problem with these little chemical gems is that they don't fall apart and they don't combine chemically with any other molecules they come in contact with. They're pretty much inert, like your Uncle Larry after a Thanksgiving meal. And eventually, all these millions of tons of CFCs made their way into the upper atmosphere of our planet.

Way up there in the highest level of the atmosphere, it takes about 100 years for UV light to chemically force these stingy CFC bastards to give up their chlorine molecules and dissolve back into carbon. Now, the problem here is that chlorine destroys ozone and is not destroyed itself--it's like an ozone cancer cell. Eventually after destroying ozone for a couple years, the chlorine sinks into the lower atmosphere where it gets carried back to earth in rain water. It is estimated that one chlorine atom may destroy 100,000 ozone molecules--talk about your chemical holocausts!

The ozone layer is our only protection against the raw Ultraviolet light of the Sun and it's not very thick. Consider this:
If all the ozone in the upper air were brought down to the temperature and pressure around you at this moment, the layer would be only three millimeters thick--about the height of the cuticle of your little finger if you're not fastidiously manicured. It's not very much ozone. But that ozone is all that stands between us and the fierce and searing long-wave UV from the Sun.
--Billions and Billions by Carl Sagan (p.87)--
White people are getting skin cancer by the cargo trailer load while people of darker colored skin are sitting in the back of the buses some would like to see them still sitting in and laughing their asses off at the irony of the whole fugged up situation.

But the bitch of it all is the whole food chain thing. See, the bottom of the food chain is the thick green shit that floats in the ocean which is actually one-celled plants called phytoplankton which is disappearing quicker than the name Osama from the President's lips after the Iraq invasion began.

These little one-celled green goos are food for little shrimp thingys which are food for small fish which are food for bigger fish which are food for...well, you get it. Any break in the food chain means that it becomes a food rope which is only useful for hanging ourselves once massive famine sets in.

Now, CFCs have been pretty much banned worldwide but there are a whole shitload of them still floating around up there and not even Dick Cheney with a shotgun to your face can make them go away with his wishes, platitudes or appeals to figmentary imaginational higher powers who supposedly support uncontested unilateral action to secure global fossil fuel resources before the end game truly begins and we can all finally take the other hand off the Bible and put them both on the gun.

Now the next new thing is Hydrocarbonflourocarbons (HCFCs) which are similar in chemical structure to CFCs except they have hydrogen atoms replacing most of the chlorine atoms. They still damage the ozone, just not with the same effect and at the same rate. In other words, they are a first step--a stop gap measure before a real solution presents itself.

Look, you can't call yourself a conservative unless you're saving something. Teddy Roosevelt was a conservative--he and John Muir helped saved millions of acres of national land from the greedy corporate bastards who would have had you living like serfs on rented land if they had their way a hundred plus years ago.

Abraham Lincoln was a conservative because he was saving the Union (or thought he was--we can debate that at a later time).

I guess even Ronald Reagan was somewhat of a conservative because he was saving representative democratic capitalism from Communism (again, we can debate this at a later time as well).

But what are these conservatives saving? Every year, I see our government grow bigger and fatter while the citizens of this country get a little more color sucked out of their lives into the ridiculous color chart which is supposed to tell us how safe to feel.

We see corporate cocksuckers like Ken Lay get off easy, probably faking his own death and who is probably now relaxing on a non-extraditionary beach somewhere, catching skin cancer on his pasty ass with a Mai-Tai in his hand and a blowjob from a brown skinned girl who we can only hope bites his shriveled up gherkin clean off and spits it into the sea for the starving small fish to eat because there isn't any phytoplankton left.

This world is ours, all of ours--it doesn't belong to Haliburton, at least not yet. And it sure as shit isn't the singular domain of the United States government. In fact, God help us if it was this government's responsibility because they'd fuck it up just like everything else they do (here's a hint--it rhymes with Kaprina and it's coming up on its one-year anniversary).

It's time for ordinary citizens to begin arming themselves with the facts and then start electing their representatives on the basis of these facts. And I'm not talking about forming civic lobbyist groups because we all know those pricks are a bunch thieving, lying, cocksuckers who may start out noble but always end up sucking satan's pecker up on Pennsylvania Avenue.

I'm talking about the lonesome citizen armed with their voice, their pens, their keyboards and their facts calling out bullshit on a bureaucracy hell bent on making sure that no human beings see the year 2200.

It's time for real change and it begins inside the head of every man, woman and child on this planet. I'm talking about a change of paradigm here. Paradigm shift is the only change worth investing energy into because every other type of change is about as useful as trying to convince a Conservative Christian to forgive a homosexual for the sin of being alive and pursuing happiness in a way which doesn't infringe upon the life or property of any other citizen. In other words, about as useful as a boner on the Pope.

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July 18, 2006

I'm Throwing in On the Side of HD-DVD

by Joshua Minton

This past week, Major Nelson (of XBOX 360 blogging fame) interviewed two dudes from Microsoft's Digital Media Empire and they explain, in candid and lurid detail, the differences in the two High Definition digital DVD formats and why Microsoft decided to back the HD-DVD format. After listening to this, I am so glad that I decided to buy an XBOX 360 and that I will be purchasing the HD-DVD add-on when it comes out this Christmas season.

Here are some things I learned:
  • Blue-Ray is a format where the data is burned closer to the surface on the discs and is therefore subject to damage from even the most minute abrasions. In fact, originally, the Blue-Ray was housed in a cartridge but this format was rejected because nobody wanted to go back to using cartridges.

  • HD-DVD has a much more efficient and effective system of compression (codecs) than Blue-Ray does and has a far better picture quality despite Blue-Ray's higher data storage capability

  • Blue-Ray has TWO levels of copy protection and this draconian effort by both Sony and several studios (including Disney) will only bring hardships to those wanting to purchase and use the discs (and we all know hackers will break the code within weeks or months)

  • The HD-DVD format allows for the sale of hybrid discs which means that one side of the disc would have a movie that can be played in any normal DVD player today but the flip side is HD, meaning we can buy discs now and watch them in our cheap players but still be able to watch HD-DVD when the prices drop as market presence increases

  • The XBOX 360's HD-DVD drive will be an add-on so the consumer has a choice whether to purchase it or not but the PS3 owner has to subsidize the technology regardless of whether they want it or not (and at $500+ Sony is still taking a bath for each unit).

To me, it looks like Sony is about to take a very hard fall (especially in the Minton household where you won't be finding a Playstation 3 or a Blue-Ray DVD player.

I highly recommend listening to this episode for a master's degree in the High Definition digital format and possibility of what HD-DVD is going to bring to the home entertainment revolution going on all around us.

LINKS:
Major Nelson's Podcast About HD-DVD vs. BlueRay

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February 18, 2006

Wesley Crusher Will Save Us All (Includes Star Wars and Stephen King Digression)

by Joshua Minton

I can trace the beginning of the explosion of my intellect back to one Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode titled "Where No Man Has Gone Before" and was written by Diane Duane & Michael Reaves.

In this episode, Picard and crew welcome a loud-mouth, self-important asshole know-it-all onto the ship to "reconfigure" the warp engines to supposedly exceed all know warp speeds to that point.

Well, this guy brings a "traveler" assistant with him who Counselor Troi refers to as "not even there" emotionally.

The experiment works, but only because the traveler manipulated space and time to the point where the Enterprise winds up in some "dimension" where their thoughts actually become reality--and this is the "spiritual plane" where the traveler exists.

They eventually get back but the traveler must sacrifice his existence in this realm in order to warp space and time in a way that will get them back to their "reality/existence." Before going, the traveler has a conversation with Wesley Crusher (played by Wil Wheaton of Blogospheric Legendary Fame) whereby Wesley guesses at the traveler's secret by suggesting that space, time, and thought weren't the separate things we think they are--that they are all intricately connencted. The traveler confirms this and speaks privately with Captain Picard, telling him that Wesley is a genius on the scale of Mozart and should be encouraged but restrained at the same time.

Thus, Wesley gets his pin as acting Ensign and the series really began taking off from there in terms of the level of storytelling.

In one of the latter episodes of the final season (Season 7 for those of you who aren't Trekkies out there), the Traveler returns to "claim" Wesley and take him to the other dimension where he will begin existing on that plane.

[Begin Star Wars and Stephen King Digression]

This actually reminds me of the Jedi in the Star Wars Universe hand picking their Padawan learners at very young ages. Also, keep in mind that Anakin and Luke were chosen very late in life for Padawan learnes, during a time when the barriers between space, time, and thought had been well established and they were at the peak of their emotional vulnerability, able to be manipulated by strong forces.

Anakin built the foundation of his spiritual projection onto the world with the force of power pulling him in every direction to make things right so that he could enjoy his time with Padme and his new child.

Luke, on the other hand, fought against this will to power and embraced the path of individual enlightenment supporting a strong and clear headed Democracy of leaders who were concerned with building and maintaining peace instead of a constant series of war in order to better secure the space and resources of the single planet (or galaxy) they existed on and in.

Luke supported a social outward turning mental projection with a very strong and independent spiritual turning inward.

Darth Vader supported the turning inward of everything--into himself and for himself alone. This is also the choice we must each make for ourselves. George Lucas is a quiet genius of the magnitude that artistic criticism has never been able to embrace in the times which the artist actually lives.

I also consider Stephen King to be an artist on this level. These men have allowed themselves to become golden tools of creative spiritual channeling so that each of us as individuals can better turn inward while focusing outward at the same time.

But I digress.

[End Star Wars and Stephen King Digression]

But getting back to the point of my Awakening of Intelligence which was inspired by this episode of Star Trek; it changed the way I thought about everything.

The entire story arc of Wesley Crusher going to one day come back to save all of humanity by showing them how they will elevate their thinking to the next level of existence completely changed the way I thought about the nature of the inner and outer universes.

"Where No Man Has Gone Before" was a perfect piece of television art because, at an early age; I was able to digest a very high-brow concept of Theoretical Physics, Cosmology, and Philosophy without knowing that I was being exposed to it and that my brain was processing it in the background. I saw right through the metaphors and something remained without my knowledge, a small litle tear in the complacency of my inquiry towards the deeper mysteries of life and the universes both inside and outside of us (which I believe are ultimately the same universe viewed from two different angles).

And that small tear grew into a very big hole, full of the thrust of quantum questioning. There was a fire in the mind and not the pompous explosion of a Supernova star, too fat with its own weight to contain the energy being channeled into it and through it. But it was a cool blue pulsing neutron star that pulled all things into it but yet still exerted such gravitational force and luminosity that if completely unveiled in the light of day, it would drown out all other sensation and destroy the flimsy separation that exists in the mental and spiritual spaces between people and objects in the rational natural world.

The question eventually turned back on itself to reveal a dual-sided coin. One one side are planets, asteroids, black holes. On the other side are the churches and the books, the lofted notions, and don't forget the bombs and bullets. The images of god that we kill for just wouldn't be the same without bombs and bullets, right?

So I still don't have any answers yet; but if you hit me up in about eighty years, I should at least be able to tell you which one's my ass and which one's the mud-hole walked dry by big mouth bloggers who are arrogant enough to think they actually know it all.

LINKS:
The Enterprise-Inspired Nissan Terranaut
Wil Wheaton's Blog
Star Trek.com
Star Wars.com
Stephen King.com

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February 16, 2006

Is the XBOX 360 and iPod Killer?

by Joshua Minton

My iPod has died and I think it's because I left it plugged into my XBOX 360. It was working perfectly fine when we sat down for a COD2 session. The iPod worked when we turned the 360 on; it worked while we played it; and it was working when I turned the 360 off.

When I came down the next day, however, after leaving the iPod plugged into the 360 all night, the iPod was dead as dogshit. It wouldn't turn on. It wouldn't charge. It's a $200 paper weight now. And it's not even six months old!

If this is some Bill Gates hates Steve Jobs bullshit that Microsoft has dreamed up to further inflame the platform war, then I am going to be thoroughly pissed off.

It would be even stupider for Microsoft to do something like this than it was for Sony to put the bullshit root kits on their audio discs.

If, however, it was just a fluke and the iPod happened to break while being plugged into the gaming system of its competitor--then I'll fully admit that when I find out what happend.

UPDATE: I fixed it! I took it into the Apple store and the dude did some fancy reset trick (which he taught me and is apparently buried somewhere on their website) and the apple icon popped back up. They were adament that the XBOX 360 had nothing whatsoever to do with the loss of functionality and said that every now and then, the iPod just needs a little reset job. So, I apologize to Microsoft--I'll keep playing your video crack if you promise not to shut me down like a Chinese blogger looking for freedom of expression.

PS: I'm sure there are a lot of cool Digg users, but why do the ones who do leave comments have to be such cynical assholes to people who are producing original content and just trying to share it with other people? My theory is that it's the same phenomena you get with the 300 lb beer gutted sloppy prick downing pints of Miller Lite and berating the Quarterback for his poor performance--schlubs who couldn't carry the stage on their own so they berate the performance of others. Oh well, I lose no sleep over it because the Pants always plays on.

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